Yes, the quarter life crisis really is a thing. Well for me anyways. Yet it took me a good few months after turning 25 before it hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like turning 25 itself really sneaks up on you - one year I was 21 and graduating, 22 and buying my first home (lucky, I know), then boom! Just like that I’m turning 25 and feeling more lost than ever, not knowing who I am, what I’m doing or where I’m going.
Knowing that my Mum at my age now, of 27, was already married, and pregnant with me, and now my friends and family are all either engaged, married or having kids, you can feel somewhat underwhelmed by your own achievements, or lack there of.
I still don’t understand why we like to define success by numbers…the age you get married or buy a house, how much money you make, how many IG followers you have…the list goes on and on. Yet we’re living in the millennial age now that's far different from that of generations before, where things like pensions, owning your own home, having kids, aren’t necessarily in our future at all, or are waaay down the priority list.
So how about we all just focus on being happy and healthy instead? Over the last couple of years since turning 25 I’ve been on my own personal journey to finding myself. Live a life you love. But how do you get there?
It’s okay to be a pretty mess
Firstly, it’s totally okay to feel a little lost, or even trapped in your current situation. After all, there’s no real handbook or guide to life, so why do we expect ourselves to have all the answers, when nothing is perfect and the future is unknown? It’s crazy that we expect so much from ourselves. So don’t worry, you’re right where you’re supposed to be - your 20’s are the time for self-discovery. Find your passions and you’ll inspire your own inner-happiness.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Just don’t. It’s time consuming and draining, and only makes you feel worse. I know, easier said than done, right? But we all have to start somewhere, so always remember that you can’t compare your chapter one with someone else’s chapter 20. If it means unfollowing those in your social feeds that no longer inspire you, then do it. Remain focused on yourself and you can always revisit them again when you’re in a healthier place. Sometimes things need to fall apart, so you can rebuild a better life. So don’t put pressure on yourself, just enjoy the journey to becoming your best self.
You really have to work on yourself
If you truly want to become your best self, you need to be willing to have that honest conversation with yourself. What do I do wrong? How can I do better? It’s brutal, but necessary. It’s important you consider the relationship you have with: your career, friends and family, your environment, fitness and food, and most importantly, yourself – mentally, physically and emotionally. Each and every part of your life should be working in a way that’s going to help you achieve your goals. If you struggle with making sense of your own thoughts like I do, then lists will become your go-to method for survival. Remember; start small to avoid that overwhelming feeling.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there
Except from the fact that I still need to work on my confidence (it’s a real struggle), I very much consider myself to be in the latter stages of my quarter life crisis: putting myself out there. I’m not usually very good with other humans so I still find it daunting. But you just gotta go for it and take that risk. Live and learn - as long as there is learning; it’s not a failure. Whether I find success as a freelancer, or from this blog (if I can ever turn it into something, now that really would be a miracle), or from something else, I’m very much in my humble beginnings. For now I’m a work in progress, but one day I will get to where I want to be. You will too.
One thing to remember: We are all just winging it. So don't be so hard on yourself.