I am currently writing this post in the mind-set of ‘I’m not good enough’ hoping that by the time I get to the end, I will have inspired and motivated a change in my own attitude and hopefully yours too. I think most people struggle with not feeling good enough, but sometimes I can feel like I’m the only one. I know this feeling will pass, I know it’s only temporary but it sucks to be here once again.
I am starting a new chapter in my life as of this week, I am taking the necessary steps to correcting something that I have been insecure about throughout a 10 year battle: My smile. I will once again be putting myself through orthodontic treatment to correct my teeth. They are the bane of my life! I was terrified when I had my first set of braces fitted when I was 15, as I already fear the dentist as much as it is. The treatment lasted approx. 20 months and I finally had the perfect smile…until my retainer broke and my teeth have since moved…back to square 1.
Over the last few years I have become increasingly insecure about my smile, which is very big by the way and shows a lot of teeth. But it has gotten to the point where I cannot allow myself to smile fully now, it has become a very strategic process. I have to place my bottom lip slightly over my top teeth when I smile to cover up the fact that I have an extra large front tooth. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I should be feeling positive about this major step forward, but after my consultation, I have been plunged back into the negativity of not feeling good enough.
Why do I not have naturally beautiful looking teeth? Why have I waited this long to fix them? How I am going to get through the next 12-24 months? I knew I needed braces again, but hearing the orthodontist point out every single thing wrong with my teeth, started to make me question everything in life. What else is wrong with me? Will my blog ever be good enough? Will my style and make up ever be good enough? Will I ever find success? Will I ever accomplish my dreams? I have been reminded of a few life lessons: 1. Better late than never…at least I am making this change now. 2. Change the things you can, and accept the things you can’t…my eyebrows will never be twins, always sisters…but I can correct my smile now. 3. Appreciate what you do have…when times are tough and you are feeling sad, appreciate all the things, no matter how big or small, that you are blessed for. Again, I wasn’t blessed with great eyebrows but I have my health, my loved ones and sometimes a sense of humour too!
I will never be perfect and I need to remember that that’s okay. I need to remember that no one wants me to be perfect; I am only putting added pressure on myself. I can make improvements to myself absolutely but the world just wants me to be me. That is all. So just sit back and enjoy the ride. I will be documenting my journey to Smile 2.0 on here, with the big day coming up soon on Oct 26th where I will be getting my Invisalign aligners fitted. Better go, as I am getting the moulds and impressions of my mouth done today. Remember: If you are unhappy with something in your life, you are the only one that can change it. But, if you are going to change it, make sure you are doing it for yourself.