Looking Forward: Being Myself and Never Looking Back in 2018

Cos looking back gets you nowhere.
Trust me, I know.

It’s fitting though, don’t you think, that today is not only the beginning of a new year, but a new week too. It’s double the opportunity to start fresh and one that I’m not missing out on. 2017 was okay for the most part; in fact I had some beautiful moments that I’m so thankful for…

1. My first Wimbledon ever, with Carly Rowena, shooting content for Evian(!)
2. Carly and Leon’s surprise wedding! – It’s one that I’ll never forget.
3. Thanksgiving in NYC – the food, the festivities…oh the memories!

But as perfect as those memories were, the year didn’t start well or end well either, with heaven gaining two more angels. So at times it’s felt like I’m only just surviving, especially with the way social media is now, it’s sometimes hard to live without that self-doubt and overwhelming sense of failure.

So here’s to looking forward.
No more baggage, bullsh*t or beating myself up.

It’s a chance to be better ‘me’ and here’s how I plan to do that…

Lighten up.
I’m constantly left feeling misunderstood. There’s no shade, no ice queen, no arrogance. Just a guarded and fragile soul, yet others tend to fill in their own blanks. I would say, when did life get so serious, but I know the answer all too well. I just can’t catch a break as far as my family goes. Growing up with a disabled sister has brought so many challenges along the way that it feels like life has always been somewhat serious. With the countless family members I’ve lost now in recent years, it seems I’ve lost a part of myself too. So I’m ready to just let go. Life is too short to be serious all the time. It’s really exhausting too.

Celebrate the wins.
As a perfectionist I find it really hard to accept a compliment or job well done. Why is it that we can focus so much on the negative that it can overshadow the good? Well, no more. No matter how big or small, I’m going to celebrate every single win. Come to think of it, this year is my 10-year anniversary with the bf and 5-year anniversary of becoming homeowners. So I’m going to give myself a big, fat pat on the back.

Make my house into a home.
We’re celebrating five years in our first house. FIVE. Yet we feel like we’re only now finding our interior style, so what was once our brand-new shiny house, no longer feels like us. Damn you, showroom. We shouldn’t have listened to you. God bless our young, naive selves, our decision-making was very questionable back when we bought this place…the dark floors, the ivory kitchen…I mean, ugh. It ain’t pretty, at all. When you’re living that work from life, motivation is hard when you’ve fallen out of love with your surroundings. So to kick start the downstairs renovations, we just put a deposit down on a new kitchen and I’m over the moon. Three words: white, marble and gold. It may sound like the ultimate blogger cliche and whilst this may not be our forever home, we’re bringing those California vibes that I miss so much, to our house to make it our home for now.

It’s okay to say no.
It’s a tough lesson that I’ve had to learn, just recently in fact, that not every opportunity is right for you. If your gut feeling is telling you to run for the hills…then trust it and run! Don’t let anything or anyone cloud your judgment. Let me tell you, that paycheck may sound great, but it could make you unhappy and hurt your reputation. So this year, I’m going to find opportunities, create them if I have to, that are right for me.